May 19, 1997 (West Lafayette, IN – Day 61 – Off Trail until 5/21)

Relaxed today. Appreciating the relaxation.

Aquaholic

May 19, 2009

Hey Aquaholic,

My marriage is/was a mental and emotional roller coaster ride that I’ve always embraced as a spiritual commitment. My divorce is far more intense by comparison, but also something I am embracing as a spiritual endeavor. Hopefully, the roller coaster ride will be considerably shorter and my wife and I will soon develop a stable, loving, and trusting friendship.

I was reading some quotes around marriage and divorce today. One said, “Love is a feeling. Marriage is a contract. Relationship is work.” I’m pretty sure my wife married me more for love than for business. Unfortunately, feelings change.

Another quote said, “the worst reconciliation is better than the best divorce.” I don’t agree with this. To me, the worst kind of reconciliation is one based on irrational decisions. The best kind of divorce is one that results in safety, security, and happiness for all parties involved. Most divorces probably fall somewhere in the middle.

A third quote that struck me was, “When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they “don’t understand” one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.”

Joe